Burn Out
In college I loved reading self-help books and my focus then was on relationships and the endless advice dedicated to finding a partner. Lately I have been drawn toward spiritual tomes and stories about personal transformation. I guess you could say I am digging myself out of a rut.
Before college I dedicated my life to the performing arts: music theory, classical singing, and movement. My training was all about using my body as a tool for creative expression, and I happily danced and sang and played. When I decided I wanted a college education, I chose to attend art school in part because both my parents are artists and because I was working as a graphic designer and thought it would improve my design aesthetic.
Visual arts training was definitely a challenge. I was not used to being critiqued and had no idea that it would feel so uncomfortable. I broke down in tears my first year when at mid-term my drawing instructor let me know that I would receive a C in her class. In the end I busted my butt and earned a B. I felt isolated and ill-equipped. Conceptual art was easier, and from an art historical perspective it was related to the performance work I been doing previously with Theresa Dickinson. Nonetheless, I got out of there as fast as I could and graduated quietly with a degree in a brand new major with a tiny group of other students. My thesis project was exhibited twice as an installation and premiered once in a film festival.
After that I got a meaningless full-time job and shut down Fawn's performance factory (I just came up with that but like the sound of it). I was burned out. My journey has served me and during that span of time I was enormously creative in other ways: I was a dj, ran a radio station, created a relationship with a compassionate man, booked rock shows, designed countless cd booklets, performed in other people's work, and of course began teaching yoga.
Yoga has helped in countless ways to heal me spiritually and physically. The body informs the mind and the mind informs the body, until you see your way out and into the moment.
The photo above is the "Perform" card from Caroline Myss' Healing deck. I choose one card daily to help focus my attention and intention. I take regular breaks from projects, meditate, include meaningful work throughout each day, and make time for family and friends. I have also started making art again and currently am working on two projects, both collaborations with talented artists. I have a better sense of my strengths and the tools to pace myself.
Anyone else have a similar journey?
Love,
Fawn
